Good morning, peeps!
Two days ago, one of my coworkers asked me why I am the way that I am. Boy, did he open up a can of worms with that one! A can of gummy worms, that is. Because I’m sweet and wiggly. (If you thought I was about to say “gummy”, you are clean out of your mind. I am not THAT sleep-deprived.) He seems to think that I think differently than other folk. “I don’t know about all of that”, was my response. “You are different, Deone.” You see, I’ve talked with him about my religious upbringing, where I was with that and where I am now, and he cannot understand how I got from Point A to Point B. I don’t know either. It’s been a process that I think really began about nine years with one request: God, show me who Deone is.
Where’s the can opener?
This was right after a phone conversation with a new friend (yes…that kind) who asked me if I lived what I believed. Taken aback – if I had pearls, I would’ve clutched them – I responded with a bit of a stank attitude, “Of course. I’m a minister.” Without hesitation, he said, “And??” EXCU-U-U-SE ME?? I ended the phone call abruptly after that. I didn’t want to talk to him. I probably thought he wasn’t cute any more, too. That’s just how I was. Himz ugly now. I think I lied (well, there you have it) and said one of my children needed me because I didn’t want him to hear how upset his response had made me. You know…because I was a minister. Who in the world does he think he is, coming at me all sideways? Ooooh! He don’t know who he is talking to! Does he not know how much I sacrifice to bring the Word of God forth? Does he not know that I made the sun AND the moon?? Okay, so I didn’t say that last sentence, but I was headed there with my holy self. I was so beyond ticked. And full of it. I remember saying aloud, “Who does he think he is, God??” I was big time tattle-telling on him like, “God, did You hear what he said to Your daughter? Did you hear that?? The nerve!” Maaaannnn. If God didn’t sit my butt down! As I sat on the end of my bed – I am picturing it right now – I heard in my spirit, “Who do you think you are? What level do you think you’re on? You are NOT the benchmark for holiness.”
Huh? Wait a minute…what?? Oh. Really. You for real? Seriously. Dang. So it’s like that? For real??
Remember when I said, “I’m saved, but my face isn’t”? Well, those were the words my face was saying, but my spirit was like “Girrrllll…you betta pray!” I remember just sitting there, in shock. Okay, so have ever seen those movies scenes where the spoiled rich girl is abruptly put in her place by a guy who loves her but has had enough of her brattiness and whining? She’s taken aback and says in a huff, “No one has ever spoken to me like that before. In fact, no one speaks to me like that. Thank you.” Have you seen those? Every time I see something like that, I always think, “Whew! I wish a brotha would!!” Well, God did. Wait. What did He just say? Is that what I really think? Once it sunk in, I fell to my knees and asked God to show me who Deone was. He has.
“And this word, Yet once more, signifieth the removing of those things that are shaken, as of things that are made, that those things which cannot be shaken may remain.” – Hebrews 12:27 KJV
In the course of showing me who Deone is, God has plucked and pruned and pulled some stuff that I thought was just fine where it was. It wasn’t hurtin’ anybody, God! He has messed with my relationships, my beliefs, and shook my foundation like a California earthquake. If I seem to be different than I was nine years ago, I am. Some of you have just met me, but don’t worry: you’re not left out of the transformation because I’m not even the same person I was yesterday. Be grateful. Be very grateful. Every day, I expect God to reveal to me something that I haven’t seen before. I expect it because I ask for it. I challenge Him. I challenge God to open the eyes of my heart every stinkin’ day. Because I want to see Him. I have seen enough of Deone to last me a lifetime. She has gotten on my nerves. It has not been easy – in fact, it has been super hard. And painful. And I want to do take-backs almost every day…usually right after I pray. But He’s not having it. Apparently, there are no take-backs with God when it comes to becoming who He has created me to be. So, even if I hadn’t said it aloud, that can of worms was going to be opened. And they weren’t sweet, wiggly or gummy.
Those bad boys were sour.
This is just a teaser for next week’s series “The Press”. Y’all thought what I’ve told you about my journey already was somethin’…ha! Just wait. This is going to get veddy interesting. Have a great day!