(This is Part 6 of our “Breathe In – Breathe Out” devotional series.)
Good morning, peeps!
As a dog returns to its vomit, so fools repeat their folly.- Proverbs 26:11 KJV
Matthew 27 is my favorite account of Jesus’ last hours. There’s no conversation with the thieves or His mama, it’s just the words of Jesus and his accusers. I counted the verses and He only has two lines. Oh, He’s a good one. Son. I wish I would be quiet while someone – no, the entire town – is talking to me out the side of their neck. And I’m the innocent one, too?! Do you know who my Father is?? Those are the thoughts I have when I read this and I’m not feeling particularly spiritual. Yeah, there’s the marvel of what is happening because I know the outcome of all of that – victory – but sometimes my thoughts are “I would’ve been using those last breaths letting them have it.” This morning, a truth rang loud and clear in my ears: the conversation was over.
Y’all, I think God just did a mic drop.
Now, look. I…hmm. I know Jesus already knew that He didn’t need to say a word, but maaan. I would’ve been muttering something under my breath. So, have any of you ever done this: had an intense conversation with someone, walked away, and then later had an imaginary conversation – as you drove down the street pretending like you were talking to them on your Bluetooth – with you saying all of the things you wish you had said before? Aww, don’t leave me out here hangin’, peeps! And it’s worse if I’m the one who was right. I need them to say it with more conviction in their throat so I’ll give them a chance to do it over…in our imaginary conversation…in my car…by myself. Geez. Y’all pray for me.
This morning’s “the conversation was over” hit me like a ton of bricks. There is so much power in that one statement. (Can I say ‘we’ so I don’t feel like I’m out here by myself? Wait! You took too long to say ‘no’!) You want to know why it’s hard for us to let stuff go? We continue the conversation. You want to know why we still make excuses for having the wrong mindset? We continue the conversation. You want to know why we have a hard time living victoriously? WE-EEEEE continue the conversation. We do. Oh, we love to place blame on the enemy of our souls, but guess what? We have a choice. We love to scream and holler “I have free will”, but then we act like… Look. We give the enemy way more power than he really has. We say “he made me do it”, and he’s like “Well, shank you veddy much! I didn’t know I had that much control over you.” We’re doing the dirty work and harming ourselves. (I promise I didn’t think this was going to go this way, but here we are.) Have you ever seen what a dog does after he vomits? He sniffs through it and then eats it. No one makes him do that. He could walk away, but he makes a choice not to. That is what happens when we continue the conversation. Sometimes, if we are so determined to have the last word, we will return to vomit. Even if it takes our last breath.
Wow. I don’t even know how to end this. I’m stuck. Like, for real. Let’s come back tomorrow. Have a great day.